I vividly remember the first year watching two six-years-olds from two very different walks of life hold hands as they set off for the balloon release at the end of the day. Despite only having known one another for six hours, they developed a bond that would likely connect them for years. It took them several minutes to let go of their hands and let go of their balloons. The way they hugged and looked at one another was a moment to cherish.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Bereavement Camps: Meeting the Needs of Grieving Children
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Anticipatory Grief - Caring for Aging Parents
I have aging parents. My dad just turned 85 and my mom will turn 85 in November. The past few years have been interesting to say the least. My mom survived breast cancer. She also underwent angioplasty as a result of a heart attack, which she kept secret for three days not wanting to disrupt a relative’s bat mitzvah celebration. Mom volunteers in my office weekly and helps out with the bereavement mailings. Dad is a person with memory loss. This came to light the past couple of years and it has been a roller coaster of emotions, appointments, emotions, tests, emotions, more appointments, emotions, more tests, emotions and more emotions.
Did I mention Mom was a saint?Click here to read more.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Coping with the death of a child
Despite the best efforts of healthcare professionals, despite prayer chains and positive energy, some children with cancer die. During this journey many parents and children find comfort and support with hospice and palliative care. Hospice care is provided wherever the child lives, at home, a residential facility or a hospital. Goals of hospice are to relieve physical, emotional, social and spiritual suffering, thus enhancing the quality of life for seriously ill children and their families.
Parents and child share a unique bond and when a child dies, a piece of the parent dies too. No matter how long the child lives, the grief is palpable. The death of a child is also the death of a friend and a source of support. If it is an only child, it is the loss of the role of a parent and the possibility of grandchildren. It is the loss of hopes and dreams parents had for their children. Part of the future dies along with the child.
How can a parent survive such loss? Grief responses for parents are intense and last a long time. Shock, click here to read more
Monday, June 6, 2011
Grief and Special Occasions
Birthdays, wedding anniversaries, anniversaries of the death, holidays, and special occasions often trigger our grief response. Sometimes the anticipation of the event can be more difficult than the actual date or the occasion itself.
Click here to read more.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Remembering Veterans this Memorial Day
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Why is my husband painting the kitchen. Our son just died. ...Men and Grief
That being said, men have some very similar grief experiences that differ from women.
Society disenfranchises men’s grief. In Men Don’t Cry…Women Do, Doka and Martin describe a continuum of grievers. On one end, there are intuitive grievers who express grief in a variety of ways that include crying and expressing feelings. On the other end, there are instrumental grievers who manifest their grief through physical, (click here to read more)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Mother's Day and Grief
Mother's Day is usually a time of celebration, but for some the time can be filled with pain and sorrow. For those who have experienced the death of a child or a mother, for those struggling with infertility, or for those who have a difficult relationship with their mother, here are some suggestions for getting through this difficult time.
Acknowledge your loss and the difficulty this day brings.
Use your loved one’s name in conversation.
Plant a living memorial such as a tree or flowers.
Visit the grave site.
Light a candle.
Share a memory or picture of your loved one.
Don’t try to minimize the loss.
Experience self care, pamper yourself.
And remember that we are here with comfort, hope and healing.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Days of Remembrance
In the United States, Congress established the Days of Remembrance as our nation’s annual commemoration of the Holocaust and created the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum as a permanent living memorial to the victims.
Please check your community to learn about local events.
Click here to learn more.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Secondary Losses
When someone you love dies, you don’t just experience the loss of your loved one. You also experience secondary losses that occur as a result of illness and death and are often overlooked.
Click here to read more.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Volunteering and Grief
Monday, March 28, 2011
Advance Care Directives - Do they help the grieving?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Comfort and hope for older adults who are grieving
Older adults experience grief much the same as younger and middle-aged adults. However, due to their age and life experience, many factors can impact their grief reaction.
The natural process of aging includes many losses. These include loss of physical strength and endurance, loss of independence, loss of mobility and loss of youth and beauty. Older adults may have to give up their role in the family and subsequently, family dynamics change.
Read the rest of this story
Monday, March 14, 2011
Grief in and for Japan
To read more on coping with tragedy like this, please read one of my earlier posts.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The Power of Grief: Death of a Sibling
Even as adults, siblings are often thought of as the “forgotten mourners.” Friends and neighbors offer comfort and support to mom and dad, but often neglect siblings, disenfranchising their grief.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Grief: What should I say?
The child in this story raises that exact question. I was working with first graders in a parochial school after a parent/coach of a classmate suddenly died. We talked about big feelings and how to manage the big feelings of grief. An opportunity to talk about anger presented itself. Many children this age don’t have the vocabulary to identify feelings, let alone ways to express and manage them. Click here to read more.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Burden Bowls - A Healing Arts Workshop
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Bullying, Suicide and Grief
If your loved one was bullied prior to the suicide, that adds another dimension to the grief. Bullying can be very dangerous in a number of ways. The person can get hurt physically and psychologically. Read the rest of this story.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Emotionally Surviving a Traumatic Event
It’s four in the morning. The phone rings. No one’s there. Caller ID says it’s my daughter in LA. My heart pounds. I call back. It goes straight to voice mail. I text, but there’s no response. I wait - check my email and find a disturbing message. I call again. Finally she answers. My phone is acting weird. Sorry. I’m fine.
I cannot fall back to sleep. I am concocting a response to her email in my head.
John saw a biker get hit by a car. I only saw the aftermath. Lots of blood and the guy wasn't moving. The entire windshield was smashed. It was horrifying. Click here to read more.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Is it grief or post-holiday depression?
The holiday season certainly had plenty of stress - conflicted relationships, financial concerns, musings on previous holidays, and the noted absence of your loved one. For some, the distress lifted when the holidays ended. Others may continue to feel unhappy or stressed even when they have enjoyed the holiday season.
While depression can include grief, grief can also mimic depression. It is important to recognize the characteristics of each. Grief encompasses a broad spectrum of behaviors and feelings that are common after a loss, which makes differentiating between grief and depression challenging. Click here to read more.