Spring Training

It’s unfortunate that there is no "spring training" for griefwork, but we can start off the season with a feeling of renewal and some plans and goals.

Baseball experts make the following points. Successful spring training incorporates all of the necessary elements of a game so that the players can maximize their performance as soon as the season begins and be able to sustain peak physical condition throughout the season. What are some elements of griefwork? How can we maximize our performance? Fitness components vary from player to player, their role on the team, the demands of the game and their current fitness level.

Each one of us grieves in our own unique way, and our roles in life vary. How can we know in advance what demands others will place on us or what self-expectations we have? How can we get in shape to grieve knowing that the season can be long and arduous?

Even though we may anticipate the death of a loved one and perhaps have watched our beloved’s slow decline, we still feel a deep sadness when he or she dies. If the death is sudden, we may feel shock as well. Acknowledging and accepting the death are first steps; feeling the pain of grief follows. It’s hard to prepare for this, but once it’s upon us we can take some steps along the journey. The right amount of sleep, good nutrition, self care, and exercise -- these are all elements of griefwork. Telling stories and reaching out to others is also part of the process. Adjusting to new roles and responsibilities may be scary, exciting or frustrating. Every one of us has our own path and our own schedule. In time we will be able to find an enduring connection with our loved one.

Think about setting some simple goals this spring season. Can you incorporate light exercise into your routine? Can you find someone to share your stories and feelings? Grief is hard work day in and day out, but the results of this hard work can bring healing and comfort.

We are here with support this spring season,

Skating through grief

Joannie Rochette, bronze medalist in the 2010 Winter Olympics for Canada skated through her grief. Two days before the short program, Rochette's mother died suddenly of a heart attack, just hours after arriving in Vancouver to watch her daughter skate. Rochette chose to continue competing in her mother's honor. In the Olympic short program, Rochette recorded a personal best, the third highest score of the night. Two days later, she held on to her third place position after the long program and won the bronze medal.

Is this normal? Did she do the right thing? How is one able to put aside feelings of grief and go on with the show? This is not the typical or expected grief reaction. It did show enormous inner strength. Rochette was able to compartmentalize her grief and perform. Rochette is an incredibly disciplined athlete and she was able to concentrate and remain focused. She performed well and then chose to skate again in the gala to honor her mother.

Do not expect yourself to grieve in this fashion. Rochette set the bar high. Grief is hard work. Everyday, the bereaved return to jobs or school and put aside their grief. Grief is put on hold or put into a container, if you will. Putting aside the heartache in its own “space” can enable you to direct your focus and deal with the work in front of you. At the end of the day, you’ll find grief as your companion, which you may or may not welcome.

Chilean Earthquake

The bereavement center's heart goes out to the victims, the families and everyone affected by the earthquake in Chile. International aid groups are bringing medical supplies and attention, food and communication tools to the millions of folks who have been displaced from the their homes or injured. If you are able, consider donating to a reputable organization such as Red Cross or Doctor's Without Borders.