Web Memorials

We recieve many calls asking about web memorials. Here is some information that we share with our bereaved clients.

Web memorials are personalized websites that allow the bereaved to create individual memorials to their deceased love ones, to visit the site and demonstrate affection.

To create a web memorial search, do an internet search and review a number of sites. Each is unique. Consider these factors when choosing a site: price, permanence, options for individualized memorials, and the community in which the memorial is housed.

Benefits of web memorials:
Emotional Expression
Personalization
Demonstration of continuing bonds
Shared grieving
Community support

A bit of caution:
Limited research – There has been limited research on the benefits of web memorials.
Permanence – Some websites become obsolete and vanish. Some websites will maintain your memorial for limited periods of time.
Strangers – Many times, strangers will post letters of condolence. They may have hidden agendas and negative intentions.
Unintended memorials – There is a difference from posting condolences on MySpace versus web memorials. The web memorial is controlled by the bereaved.

Hope this helps.

Education and Training

The fall has been a very busy time for education and training. Walking Through Grief: A bereavement certificate program is off to a good start. Tomorrow is the second of eight sessions. Dr. Bob Ballantine will be the instructor on Anticipatory Grief. The greater Cleveland community has made numerous requests. Last week, I presented to 60 older adults on grief and loss. The Hospice Institute featured a day long conference on Geriatrics: The Next Chapter to over 200 professionals. This week I well be presenting on the Impact of Grief in the Workplace in Lakewood. Next month we will be presenting multiple presentations throughout the community on Children and Adolescent Grief and Traumatic Grief. Attached are links to two presentations open to the community. If you are interested in having a presentation for your organization or workplace, please contact us.
http://www.hospicewr.org/uploads/pdf/programs/Registration%20Educational%20Certificate%20Program.pdf
http://www.hospicewr.org/uploads/pdf/programs/NEOEA%20DAY%20AGENDA%202008.pdf

TEEN GRIEF

During grief, teens experience all kinds of emotions. They may be overwhelming, frightening, and intense: they may feel out of control.

The variety of grief reactions is endless and includes physical, behavioral, emotional/social, intellectual/cognitive and spiritual reactions.

Here are some tips for teens coping with grief:

Shock, disbelief: Talk, talk, talk. Grief needs to become real before you can go on with the mourning process. Avoiding the pain is not possible.
Denial: Understand that you cannot escape from grief. So talk about your pain.
Anger: You have every right to be angry. But you don’t have a right to take out that anger on others - or on yourself. If you feeling angry, try shooting hoops, walking, listening to music, journaling.
Guilt and regrets: If only I hadn’t said… I wish I had… Give yourself a break. When someone dies we often second-guess ourselves, but the truth is that awful things happen and there is little we can do about that.
Fears, worries: It’s difficult not to worry that something will happen to someone else you love or to you. Try to identify what your worries are. Then, talk to someone about those worries. Is anything in your control? If so, take a responsible action. If not, try some relaxation.
Inability to sleep: Rest, rest, rest. Grief is draining.
Inability to eat: Watch yourself. Grief can sometimes make you “forget” to eat or have not cares about what you are eating. Try to sit down at mealtime and eat.
Inability to remember: You forgot about the paper that’s due? You locked your keys in the car? Write things down. Organize for the next day the night before. Have friends call with reminders about assignments.
Inability to concentrate: How can you focus when your mind is wandering? Allow more time to do homework. Talk to your teachers. Be extra careful when doing any task that requires your complete attention, ESPECIALLY driving

Crisis Response

The school year has been off to a busy start with crisis response. There was a teen death last week in Ashtabula county and two teen deaths over the weekend in a Cuyahoga county school. Our team is able to mobilize quickly and get out to the school to help disseminate information in a systematic way as well as provide support and comfort to the staff and students. The day usually starts out with strategic planning with school personnel which is followed by large and small group interventions. We provide literature, art materials and most importantly, grief counselors who have had numerous experiences with crises and can remain the calm in the storm. We then follow up with school and provide on-going support and interventions as needed. Last year, we provided over 40 crisis response. Although these experiences are exhausting for staff and students, it is always so rewarding to learn from the students. They work hard and are truly amazing.

School Services Program

We are very excited to introduce Megan Davis, LISW-S, as our new school liaison. Prior to coming on board , Megan worked as a Social Worker on one of our hospice home care teams. Prior to that she had worked as a school Social Worker. Megan joined us as a counselor at camp and is getting her feet wet learning all the intricacies of the position. Today we sent out Partners in Grief, our school E-Newsletter. http://208.206.15.235/uploads/pdf/PartnersInGrief_Fall08_7%2030%2008.pdf
Please feel free to contact Megan with any grief related concerns. Here is a description of our school program.
http://208.206.15.235/uploads/pdf/SchoolGrief_Flyer_8%2031%2007.pdf

Greetings!

It's been a few weeks since the last blog. Our 3 day grief camp was a great success and afterwards, I took some time off. During that time and since the creation of this blog, I have had several conversations on how to improve the blog, reach more readers and meet the needs of our readers. It is my intention to post twice a week and I invite you to respond.

There have been many events happening in the bereavement center. Last week, we had our first advisory council. The advisory council is made of up community members who may or may not have utilized our services. There are mental health professionals, funeral directors, estate planners, bereaved, volunteers, fire and safety personnel, school professionals, etc. The purpose is for the council to make suggestions on ways to improve the bereavement center and reach the community. It is the responsibility of the bereavement center to act on these ideas. In the first meeting, we provided a general overview of the center and it's services. Council members made multiple concrete suggestions on ways to collaborate with others and reach out to underserved areas. An action plan will follow. One idea was to send our About Grief newsletter that we send to our hospice bereaved families to our school data base and to everyone we know on-line. I am posting here for you to look at. http://208.206.15.235/uploads/pdf/AboutGrief_Fall08.pdf

Look forward to more frequent postings and updates on the advisory council.